icerigger wrote
Regarding Henry and the Twins: Your pants may be too tight, they may look good when you're strutting into a bar but bunch up when you sit on the bike. Try sport boxers instead of tighty whities, the leg bands can dig into your groin pinching the nerves. Your seat may be too soft and the sit bones are forcing the foam up into your paraneum cutting off the blood to your man bits. You can modify the seat by cutting out a strip of foam in the centre, like the cyclists seats. You may be leaning forward to reach for the bars and rolling off your sit bones onto your paraneum. Higher bars or rolling the bars back a notch or two might help.
reminds me of . . . I know, in the wrong thread, but anyway . . . ]
Joe was moderately successful in the career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.
"The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way I can relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see, size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job.", replied the salesman.
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure"
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16 and a half neck"
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job.", replied the salesman once again.
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked,
"How about new shoes?"
Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see, 9 and a half, wide."
Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman
asked, "How about a new hat?"
Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure."
The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see, 7 5/8."
Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see, size 36."
Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. If you wore size 34 it would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
"The thing about quotes on the Internet is you cannot confirm their validity" - Abraham Lincoln
"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened." - Winston S. Churchill
Most motorcyclists live more in five minutes than other people do in their entire lives.
when you mix religion with politics you get politics
people say I'm condescending (that means I talk down to people)
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