Best joke you got----clean!!!

[Piute]

O.K.,O.K.,we''ll give ya that one since God was invoild,

[Daddyman]

Piute I thought you would appreciate that one

[shinyribs]

That was hilarious!!!Good one Daddyman.     Hey...i like them "soft and wobbly"

[Daddyman]

ME TOO!!

[Piute]

.......Don't wear your jacket backwards!
A young man was making his way home on a rather cold night on his motorcycle, on an old road full of bumps and holes. Ahead he spotted someone waving their arms by the side of the road. An elderly gentleman had skidded his automobile off the road, and was stuck deep in the mud.

The motorcyclist offered to give the man a ride about 3 miles into town. The elderly man accepted the offer. Before the grateful motorist climbed aboard the cycle, he was advised by the motorcyclist to reverse his coat, back to front, to protect him a little better from the cold night air. Then they set out on the bumpy road to town. The biker said nothing until he reached an open convenience store. "Here we are," he yelled out looking back, only to find he was alone on the motorcycle.

"Good heavens," he thought, "the old guy must have fallen off!" He turned the cycle about and began retracing the ground. A mile back he came upon his former passenger, lying motionless on the road, surrounded by a small group country folk.
"Is he badly hurt?" cried the motorcyclist.
"I'm afraid so," answered one of the country folk. "We were in our house over yonder when we heard his moans. When we found him he was in terrible shape. His head had been twisted clear around! My son and I twisted it back just as fast as we could, but ever since, he hasn't moved or made a single sound

[shinyribs]

OW

[Daddyman]

A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship". The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat". The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a raft". Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years!" he says. She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!" Then she asks, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?" He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!" Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?" And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got a motorcycle in there!"

[Piute]

L.O.L. good 1 daddy-o  hope fully a 4 banger

[shinyribs]

Awesome! Loved that one!

[shinyribs]

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The
parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious
and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to
change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could
think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the
parrot got angrier and even more rude. John , in desperation,
threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for
over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened
the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out
onto John 's outstretched arms and said "I believe I
may have offended you with my rude language and
actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do
everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a
dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very
softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

[Daddyman]

Good one Mc Ribs! good stuff

[Piute]

"May I ask what the turkey did?"
   ..Good 1  Chrome guy,..GOT POLISH.....Piute...

[shinyribs]

A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door..

Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, 'Genesis ' 3:10".

Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.' Genesis 3:10 reads, 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked'

[rich]

A young man walked into the insurance office to purchase
coverage for his new motorcycle.

Only one question confused
him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"

"I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the
same thing?"

[shinyribs]

A lein holder     awesome!!!!!

[Daddyman]

[shinyribs]

NEVER PISS OFF THE BACK-HOE OPERATOR!!!

[Piute]

[cityslicker]

that pic is classic!!! Nice..

[samir_nayanajaad]

A mother and her daughter were on a long flight from New York to London.  The little girl asks her mom, "Mommy, if big dogs make little puppies and big cats make little kittens, do big airplanes make little airplanes?"

The mother being tired and wanting to take a nap tells her daughter to go ask the stewardess.
So the little girl goes up to the stewardess and ask her.

"My mommy told me to ask you. If big dogs make little puppies and big cats make little kittens, do big airplanes make little airplanes?"

The stewardess smiled and told the little girl,
"Honey, tell your mommy that Southwest Airlines always pulls out on time."