Best joke you got----clean!!!

[Daddyman]

LMFAO!!! Thats GREAT!

[shinyribs]

[Daddyman]

Piute  DO NOT READ THIS!

A Honda rider, a Ducati rider and a Harley Davidson rider were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze after a long day’s ride. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them, impounding their bikes in the process. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Harley Davidson rider was first in line (he had drunk the most), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Harley Davidson rider had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Ducati rider was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through. The Ducati rider had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Honda rider was the last one up (he had drunk the least), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said: "You ride a Honda. You support the greatest motorcycle and car producer in the world. I myself ride a CB750 and have many Acuras in my fleet. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thanks, your most Royal highness", the Honda rider replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes!"

"Not only are you an honorable and powerful man, you are also very brave" the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Tie the Harley Davidson rider to my back." The Honda rider replied.

[shinyribs]

That is wrong!   But cleverHAHA   Good one Daddyman

[shinyribs]

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give you all of your energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legsgot wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work...
The @$$ hole is usually in charge

[Piute]

[shinyribs]

Got a new one today:

A fisherman spends the day at the lake under a tree fishing, takes a
sip of his wiskey bottle and the fish take the last of his bait, man
looks around and noticed a frog just right for bait, reached over and
just as he was going to grap it a snake snatched it up in his mouth.
the man then pours a little wiskey next to the snake which drops the
frog and licks the wiskey up, the man graps the frog and cuts it up
for bait, after a while of fishing the man feels a tug on his sleeve
and looks down and its the snake, with another frog in its mouth

[Piute]

  good 1

[cityslicker]

that is a good one.. I dig it.

[Daddyman]

Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician ?  

He worked it out with a pencil.

[shinyribs]

thats just wrong but funny!

[shinyribs]

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had
great
seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how
she
liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and
all
the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing
each
other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the
game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the
quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"

[Piute]

   goodie  

[shinyribs]

So I am stuck in traffic...
Nothing is moving.
Suddenly, a man knocks on my window.
I roll down the window and ask, "What's going on?"
He says "Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and are asking for a $10 million dollar ransom.
... Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.
We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."
"How much is everyone giving, on average?" I ask.
The man replies, "About a gallon."

[Daddyman]

[LukeM]

*rimshot*
Try the veal...he's here all week. And remember, the evening show is completely different from the matinee.

Luke M

[Piute]

[shinyribs]

[Half-Caf]

shinyribs wrote

Sometimes I think you must just search the internet for more smiley faces...

[shinyribs]

I steal them from other fourms.All you have to do is right click and save as.I got tons of smileys that i have never used.I dont know what my problem is